Sunday, August 23, 2015

Happy birthday to me!

I am officially 37, well as of one minute ago I am. So far 2015 has been pretty crazy, I go a new car, well it's new to me anyway. Then I had my stomach surgery and since then I have lost 80+ pounds (woo hoo!). I got a promotion at work, I attended the Lori Foster RAGT conference in June and then we bought our first home at the end of July! My oldest son moved out, and now we have a senior as well as a 7th and 8th grader. Now I just added another year to my age.

My weekend started off going out with a few co-workers for drinks after our shifts ended. Hanging out with them outside of the office was fun. It was interesting getting a glimpse of the guys I spend 40 hours a week with away from the daily grind. I hope we do it again soon.

I spent this weekend baking pumpkin cupcakes with whipped cream cheese frosting, both gluten free and regular, pizzas, again both gluten free (Chebe is the best crust I have ever tried!) and regular. I also made loaded baked potato salad, deviled eggs, and brewed iced tea. We had a BBQ and our friends and family made a GF carrot cake (OMG my mom is amazing), and pasta salad. We grilled various sausages from Schmidt's in German Village, steaks, and juicy Lucy's (burgers with cheese stuffed inside). It was wonderful. Spending a nice, relaxing weekend with loved ones was definitely awesome.

 Our life has certainly been chaotic this summer. We are still unpacking and getting settled. Since we started this process back in June, nearly every weekend has been filled with chores, moving, packing and unpacking, organizing, donating unneeded items, looking for misplaced items, fixing just about everything (that is an entirely other blog entry), and the list goes on and on... So needless to say, a bit of fun was well deserved.

I even took my birthday off from work. Which was definitely a good call since school starts on Tuesday for my two boys in junior high and I have yet to buy all their school supplies and my driver's license and tags expire. Oh, and I still have to go to the grocery store so they will have something to put inside their lunch boxes. Even though I won't be at work, I will be a busy girl!

Now that I am 37 years and 43 minutes old, I guess I should go to bed.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

And it continues...

So last Thursday we were supposed to close on our house but because our lender/loan nazi has decided to take his good old sweet time and dick around with our paper work while trying to drive us absofucklinglutely batshit crazy we did not. Oh yeah, and this asshat has still not given us an actual closing date either. Can you tell that I am a bit frustrated? Sorry for venting...

We have the loan, it has been approved, but for some reason, we are still sitting here in the dark waiting to get the final word that all the T's have been crossed and all the I's have been dotted so we can finally get the keys to our home. We are hoping that it will happen by the end of next week. At this point, we have no clue.

I have started packing. Jamie has not. Why you may be wondering have I begun the process of cataloging our belongings and placing them into boxes, wrapping all fragile items in newspaper and bubble wrap, and filling our hall, living room, and bedrooms with boxes and totes when my husband refuses? Because he has reached the point of doubt. Doubt that we will get the house, that the seller will continue without a closing date, that our lender is ever going to do his damned job. Jamie doesn't want to put our lives away only to be disappointed if we lose the house because our lender has dragged his feet for so long that everything falls apart for us. Honestly I can't say I blame him. Sitting here in my living room looking at the brown boxes and Sterilite storage tubs currently surrounding me filled with knick knacks and clothes and photos makes me anxious.

What if he is right? Unpacking them would be difficult if we lose the house we have come to think of as our new home, the home we plan on building with our sons. Our family needs a new home. A few months ago our dog Brutus died, and we have all been sad since then. Our current home where we have lived since 2004 is filled with memories, good mostly, but once Brutus passed, it just seems so sad here. Time for a fresh start. We had already begun the house hunting process before we lost Brutus , so it isn't just because of him we are leaving, but it is time for sure. In fact, he is coming with us, well, his ashes are anyway. We'd never leave him behind.

I was able to get this past Thursday and Friday off work for the planned closing and move, but since that fell through, I spent the days off taking my kids to doctor appointments, school shopping, going to yard sales, and going to the gym. What makes me even angrier is that I can't get any days off this week so hopefully IF we do close this week, we can do the closing before I go to work at 2 pm. My mother in law is planning on coming up to help us pack and move, and my mom is also planning on helping. We have a few friends who are supposed to help too, but I am not sure with all the help we have planned it will be enough now that I only have Saturday and Sunday and weekdays before 2 to move.

The bad news (yes there's more) is that we have to pay another month of rent but the good news is that we have the whole month to move so there isn't such a big rush. Oh well... Nothing we can do to change any of this. As I write this reflecting on this past weekend that should have been chaotic and stressful and busy and exhausting, this weekend wasn't so bad at all.

Aside from errands, we spent family time poolside, went shopping, and even to a concert (if you are not a James Bay fan, you do not know what you are missing). Maybe next weekend will be crazy and this time next Sunday I will be in my new home. I guess what's meant to be will be.

Monday, June 29, 2015

What were we thinking?

Of all the insane things we have done, buying a house has got to be at the top of the list. I know it is a right of passage of sorts, but I am not sure we are ready for this level of insanity. Now we have been thinking about this for a very long time and are not wanting to rush into anything though I think there isn't a way to be 100% secure when purchasing a home.

There are so many unknowns... What if this is not the right house for our family? What if our dream house comes on the market after we start this process? What if we are making a huge mistake? What if what if what if... I am driving myself crazy  about all the "what ifs". I keep trying to reassure myself and usually it works, or at least helps, but nagging thoughts sneak in from time to time causing me to freak out. We have planned as much as we are able and have tried to be as educated about this process as possible. We have searched and searched for a good house, and let me tell you, finding a house both my husband and I agree on has been difficult enough, then getting our four sons to concur with our decision has been an adventure in itself.

When we started looking, we sat down together and listed all of the features that we required, others that would disqualify a house, and some that we wanted but were not deal breakers. What did our lists contain you may be wondering... Here are a few. Must haves: three or more bedrooms, stay in the same school district, at least one and a half bathrooms (no way in hell I am sharing a potty with five guys), and a decent kitchen. Deal breakers: anything opposite of the must haves list, Wants: fireplace, deck, hardwood floors, two car garage, and main floor laundry.

So we decided to start by getting pre-qualified for a loan. Seemed like a good place to start since if we didn't have the money then we were dead in the water. We turned in the application, then got a call from our lender requesting additional information. Once we gave them everything they needed, we were told that we were approved! Pretty amazing first step. Then it was time to find a realtor. So we asked around and one of my co-workers recommended the realtor that helped her and her boyfriend purchase a home last year in the exact same area we were looking in, and my coworker couldn't say enough nice things about her realtor, so I gave her a call on Wednesday. The realtor eagerly sent us emails with homes for sale meeting our minimum requirements. Five homes looked good, so we set up showings for that Saturday. By Friday morning, three of the houses were in contract, all three had been on the market less than forty eight hours. Yikes.

Saturday afternoon arrived and I was nervous and excited. We planned on meeting our realtor at the first home at one. The house would definitely need some work, but the price was good, so we walked in the front door. Everything was out of date, light fixtures, carpet, appliances, paint, pretty much everything would need to be replaced. Did I mention the awful sponge painted walls and the golden rod shag carpeting? It smelled musty and the floors squeaked and creaked. Oh, and there was a typo on the listing, only one bathroom. On to the next house.

House number two looked much more promising from the outside. It was a split level foyer so we decided to start up stairs. The carpet was brand new, and were a nice neutral light tan shade and was super soft. The walls were freshly painted tan and trimmed in white. The kitchen was small but had just been renovated. New cabinets,new stainless steel appliances, new sink with a new fixture. The full bathroom was also redone and would work well for us. The three bedrooms were on the smaller side and the closets were also smaller than our condo currently has.

We headed downstairs and were pleased with the half bath and easy access to the garage. Though it was only had one stall, the garage door was brand new. The next room was a large family room/den/rec room. Then we took a peak inside the utility room, the only room that was not finished, but looked easy enough to finish. Then we found a surprise. After opening the last door off of the utility room, we found another room. It was big enough to be a fourth bedroom, though it couldn't be considered a bedroom since it lacked a closet. We would figure that room out later. We next headed outside to check out all of the landscaping and yard.

There was a tool shed beneath the second floor deck, lots of trees (which needed trimmed in a bad way), new mulch and river stone walled flower beds, and overall, was lovely. A few other items we found to be cool were the new windows that tilted in for easy cleaning and the new light fixtures through out the house, including the one directly above the front door. Overall, we really liked the house. It wasn't perfect, not our dream house, but it was a great house at a great price in a great neighborhood. Add to that how fast houses in our area had been selling faster than funnel cakes, we knew we needed to act fast if we wanted this house.

But did we want it? Or did we want to keep looking? We left the house and said good-bye to our realtor and headed home to talk. Within an hour we decided to make an offer. We sent a text to our realtor and then we waited. We offered $4,500 less than the owners asking price and asked them to pay for the closing costs. We were told that it would take a few days most likely to hear back. However, the next morning they countered our offer, they agreed to pay all the closing costs, but would not go any lower than $1,500 less than asking price. We accepted with the stipulation that the inspection went well. And with that, we were in contract.

We had seven days to complete the inspection. So we found a guy and within five days, we had the house inspected. He found a few small things that needed repaired, the three biggest were that the exterior water spigots were missing, the whole house was in need of insulation, and biggest of all, the AC was not working. So we sent the report as well as our repair requests. Within twenty four hours, the seller got back to us and agreed to do everything with the exception of the water spigots and the insulation. We accepted and officially are in contract. Now we are finalizing the loan information and are waiting for the promised repairs to be completed.

Now we are busy planning our move, the new patio and fire pit in the back yard, and where all of our belongings will end up. We are set to close in less than a month and I feel like we will not be able to pack up ten plus years of stuff in enough time. What will we bring with us, what will we trash or donate or give away? My stress level has increased tremendously and we are no where near done. There's no turning back now. We are in the midst of the first time home purchase for our family.

But I am so excited and absolutely can not wait until the end of July when we are handed the keys to our new home. That's right, HOME.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Five reasons we can't handle marriage, I think not...

The other day I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and this article, 5 reasons we can't handle marriage anymore, shows up. The title grabbed my attention so like any other nosey person, I clicked the link. The author of said article, Anthony D'Ambrosio, states that he believes in marriage, love, etc. and not surprisingly is newly divorced (he was married in 2012 according to the article). Giving D'Ambrosio the benefit of the doubt I read his opinions about why marriage is basically doomed. I even let his thoughts marinate for a few days, but decided I need to share my thoughts on this matter.

 Reason #1: Sex becomes almost non-existent...
Seriously? He wants to blame the failure of (his) marriage on the stereotypical BS because he couldn't be bothered to make love to his wife "once every couple weeks, or when it's time to get pregnant". What a load of crap. I have been married for nearly 12 years and we still have sex several times a week, and not just going through the motions sex, but hot, heart pounding, make your toes curl, super fun sex. Oh and for those nay sayers who believe his dribble, we have four children and both work full time, stressful jobs as well as normal run of the mill day to day responsibilities. Intimacy and sex are a vital part of marriage and anyone who says otherwise is either delusional or is a liar. If you don't make time for your partnership to flourish then you are doomed to fail. Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex is normal. And if you aren't having sex with your spouse, then don't be shocked when you find out someone else is.

If "it becomes this chore. You no longer look at your partner wanting to rip their clothes off, but rather instead, dread the thought" then you are in major trouble. I agree wholehearted with this. My question is why would it get to that point?  It isn't difficult to make an effort. Send a sexy text, buy some new panties, or simply take your spouse by the hand and lead them into the bedroom.

D'Ambrosio states that we see others who are more attractive than our spouses and that you have to be perfect. Ummm... I am far from a Victoria's Secret model but my husband still smacks my ass, tells me he wants me, sends me naughty texts, and reminds me constantly of his desire for me. When I see him, I still get butterflies, still long for him to touch me, to kiss me. We have fun and play and laugh. We are far from perfect, but we fit together perfectly. Now I know there are exceptions to everything, there are medical and physical reasons why sex may not be possible, but there is no reason why intimacy isn't possible.

Reason #2:Finances cripple us...
Again, pure and simple crap. So what if you are poor, broke, living beyond your means? When we got married I was a waitress and made $2.13/hour plus tips and he made just over $6.00/hour (minimum wage at the time). We struggled. Was it easy? Hell no! There were times we had to choose what bill(s) we weren't paying each month so we could care for our young family. However, there has never been a point where we gave up on our marriage because money was tight. Stop making excuses.

Reason #3: We're more connected than ever before, but completely disconnected at the same time...
We live in an age of technology, and yes sending a text is easier than making a call and yes, people spend a lot of time on their devices. I totally agree on that, though I also know that you can connect while being connected and can use technology to your benefit. How you ask? Well, for starters, make technology work for you. Set up your calendar to remind you of important dates, use social media to share photos or send messages (and they can be private messages so you aren't forced to share with the world), as I said previously- send fun and sexy texts when calling isn't appropriate. We even find shows or movies to watch on our iPad and snuggle up in bed to watch together. We could watch on the TV, but getting up close and personal to watch on a 10" screen is fun, plus coping a feel is encouraged when in bed.

Technology makes our lives easier. There is an app for just about everything, and you can use them to do things together even when you are apart. For instance, we are thinking about buying a house and since we work opposite schedules, we can look at houses on our phones and text each other when we find something we are interested in. Of course we could wait until the weekend and do this side by side, but doing it on our free time frees our weekends up to look at the few houses we are actually interested in instead of spending the whole day going from house to house and we still have time to go to the gym together, stop by the books store, and all sorts of other shenanigans.

Reason #4: Our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved...
This one is super easy-why not get attention from those we desire and love?? Stop worrying about everyone else in the world and focus on those that really matter. You want a successful, happy marriage? Super! Pay your spouse a compliment. Send them a letter (or flowers or candy or whatever they like). Plan a fun day out, a picnic, a walk after dinner, a concert, or a day at an amusement part to surprise your spouse. You don't need an excuse to have a date and focus your attention on each other. Everyone wants to feel special, so what better way to show you care than to do something for the person you are sharing your life with.

Reason #5: Social media just invited a few thousand people into bed with you...
D'Ambrosio says that social media is the root of all evil, well maybe I am paraphrasing a bit here but that is the gist of this section. That we share too much leaving nothing sacred. Maybe some people do, but sharing memories, moments, and parts of your life on social media is an awesome way to include friends and family who you can't see as often as you would like into your life. Posting info about my day to day life allows me to keep in contact with loved ones and spend most of my free time with my husband and kids. This reason to me is the silliest of all for a reason marriages aren't "handled" anymore.

"Marriage is sacred. It is the most beautiful sacrament and has tremendous promise for those fortunate enough to experience it. Divorced or not, I am a believer in true love and building a beautiful life with someone...I do fear, however, that the world we live in today has put roadblocks in the way of getting there and living a happy life with someone."

Marriage is most definitely sacred. It also takes work and is not perfect. If you do not and are not willing to put the effort in your marriage will be a failure. If any of these reasons are the reasons you can't handle marriage, I feel sorry for you. Some people get married for the wrong reasons, some people grow apart, some people aren't willing to be active in their marriage, and on and on, but if you stop being intimate, let money get in between you, allow technology ruin your life, seek attention outside your marriage, or are a social media whore you should work on you before you can be a part of a marriage.

Marriage is a partnership and is something you share with that one special person who you can't see yourself without. Think back to your first date, your first kiss, and all your other firsts, if you don't feel that same way (or hopefully even better) then you should reevaluate what has gone wrong so you can get back there. This list is ridiculous. I don't expect everyone will agree with me and that is fine. I believe in marriage and families and love and maybe I am just super blessed and that is why I feel the way I do, but I don't think that is it. I honestly believe that if your marriage fails it is because one or both spouses stopped trying.

I wish you all love and luck and happiness.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Everyone else is doing it...

Whether you love it or hate it... Have read all three books once, five times, or not at all. Went to see the movie on opening weekend or refuse to add to the success, you simply can not ignore the presence of Fifty Shades of Grey (FSOG). Facebook, blogs, commercials, twitter, national news. It is everywhere. I am not intending to insult anyone for their literary/movie tastes but I am to the point where I want to say my piece.

A few years ago, my husband, Jamie and I were at my youngest son's baseball game. We sat in the bleachers at the Catholic school down the road from our house and cheered on his team. Jamie turned to me and asked me something he had only asked me one other time.... "Why haven't you read those books yet?" I didn't have an answer this second time. (The first time revolved around Twilight and I don't care, I am so glad he asked me that first time because it is what prompted me to write my first book, too bad I can't say the same the second time).

As I paid attention to those around us, every single woman either had a copy in their hands or was talking about it. What the hell? The only response I could muster was something along the lines of "I don't know, I'll check it out later." I started listening to the conversations going on around me and was surprised to hear moms talking so openly about an erotica novel. One mom in particular stands out in my mind even years later. She was always perfectly coiffed, dressed, and spoken. She sat there in her white capris, sleeveless polo shirt, and sandals with her Louis Vuitton bag (I looked it up and it cost nearly $2000, and yes it was real) and Prada sunglasses. Her fingers graced by envy inducing diamonds, her nails recently manicured. She was one of the loudest on the bleachers that day, and she was not even paying attention to the game. As I listened to her go on and on about how she couldn't wait until after the game when she could drop her son off at home with his older siblings so she could run to the local adult store to pick up yet another vibrator and stock up on batteries since she had "worn out her current one" and her husband was out of town for the next week.

At that point I joined in the conversation. I needed to know what the big deal was. I had heard of FSOG but since I wasn't a big erotica reader, I hadn't paid it much mind. You would have thought I smeared my face with mud and asked if I looked all right from the looks I got. These women were ravenous, jumping at the chance to convert me to a FSOG fan. WOW... After the game we stopped by the grocery store for a few items and there near the registers was a huge display of THE books. What the hell, why not? I picked up all three books and added them to my cart. Let's just say I did not share the same enthusiasm as the bleacher women. It was painful to read. I will tell you I made it through the first two and nearly finished the third book, but I simply couldn't stomach any more (I have yet to finish those last few chapters).

I am not going to bash E.L. James, though the books were poorly written (has the woman ever heard of a thesaurus for God's sake?!?!) It is awesome that she has been so successful and made erotica acceptable to discuss in public, I think this was the first time it was trendy for women to not only read erotica, but to talk about it EVERYWHERE. I thought FSOG may open its fans' minds and the erotica market would blow up, but the majority of readers of FSOG have not delved further into erotica (in my humble opinion). Several friends of mine would turn fifty shades of red if they read Anne Rice's Beauty series though when it comes to FSOG my friends think Christian and Ana are so delicious. These women (my friends) ravished these books, but stopped there instead of finding something new (and good) to whet their sexual appetites.

The movie was WAY better than the books, but how could it not be?? Movie goers are thankfully deprived of hearing about Ana's Inner Goddess and Subconscious (BTW, you are not aware of your subconscious, so this particularly drove me up the wall). Dakota Johnson

played a pretty good Ana and while I find Jamie Dornan
attractive, he in no way was what I envisioned as THE Christian Grey. Notice that is not a smolder...That part should have gone to Ian Somerhalder
and no I don't give a damn that he has the wrong hair and eye color, no one smolders the way he does... God that man is beautiful... Okay back to the movie or I will go on a Ian-fest... I did enjoy the movie and found it overall sexy, well done, and if the books were like the movie i would have been a fan. The story line is basically the same without all the repetitive words, obnoxious Anaisms, and editorial snafus.

Now to discuss the rash of authors slamming the books and getting called jealous. So what if they are? Would I love to have the success James has had? I would be stupid not to and any author that claims otherwise has questionable sanity. And I wouldn't classify it as jealousy, but would definitely call it admiration for the success ONLY. I don't write erotica, but do write sex scenes and try to make them naughty and realistic and tasteful. I do not find her sex scenes (let's be honest here, it is really the same sex practically in every scene, so I am being generous here) to be that erotic. For me it was more like insert tab A into slot B with a few sex toys tossed in so it passes for something similar to BDSM. I am not going to even touch on whether or not it is actually a true representation of BDSM or that community since I am not involved, but I do know a fair share to think it isn't a good representation of what real BDSM relationships typically are. Side note: I did manage an adult store for five years, and worked for a national adult store for another three. I have also been to swing clubs (for work) and have witnessed every aspect of BDSM that I have heard of. So I do have quite a bit of insight on this matter, FYI. 

For me it is hard to figure out what drew so many people to FSOG, maybe their own sex lives are way too vanilla, who knows and who cares, especially since there are so many well written, super sexy, beautiful erotica novels vastly available.

All I do know without question, is that I would love to have the marketing and fan driven success that Ms. James has had. Maybe one day...

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Life after surgery and Valentine's Day

     It has been two weeks since my surgery and for the most part, it has been smooth sailing. I spent four days and three nights in the hospital, though I was only expecting to stay for two at most, due to extreme nausea. Thankfully, after switching medicine, the nausea subsided and I haven't had any issues since. I slept a lot the first few days, and even now I take three to four hour naps. The only other issue I've had to deal with is a bit of pain, however the pain is only at one of the five incisions (the largest one at 1.5") and in my back. I have been able to manage the pain with a heating pad for my back and some medicine.
     I have been able to get up and get some regular exercise in the form of walking. Since the not-so-lovely weather here in Ohio has limited my outdoor activities and I still have restrictions that my surgeon gave me, I go to the mall and grocery stores and walk around. The biggest limitation is that I haven't been released to drive yet which means I have to rely on my husband and mom to take me. Hopefully at my next appointment on Thursday, some of my restrictions will be lifted and I will be released to do more exercise and fingers crossed, that I will be able to start driving.
     I have followed my diet and have been tracking my nutritional needs. I need to make sure I get at least 50-60 grams of protein and 40-60 ounces of water/liquid per day. One of the biggest issues for bariatric patients is dehydration so my liquid goal is super important. Without protein, my body will not heal as fast and will lack nutritionally so I make sure to drink two protein shakes each day especially since they have quite a bit of the other nutrient requirements. For the most part I have to make myself eat/drink though I have gotten hungry a few times.
     Now for what you have probably been wondering... How much weight have I lost so far? Well, since I started the pre-surgery diet January 9th I have lost 30.5 pounds! Pretty cool huh?!?! I am still "fluffy" so I am not so sure that it is really noticeable, but maybe I am just being hard on myself... Eventually I will post the pictures that I have been taking every Friday, though right now I am not ready to share them.

     So now that you are all up to speed on me, let's move on....

     Every year my husband, Jamie, and I do something for Valentine's Day. Usually we go out to dinner and sometimes a movie. We are pretty low key and exchange cards, though once in a while he surprises me and gets me flowers, gifts, and chocolate. Side note: I love dark chocolate and last year he asked the store associate for candy suggestions. She recommended 90% pure cacao. What Jamie didn't realize is that in 90% pure cacao there is only a touch of sugar, in another word, nasty. Being the prankster mom, I offered to share with my four boys and the looks on their faces was totally hysterical! I know, I'm so mean, lol.
     So obviously this V Day things will be different. Going out to dinner is out unless I get soup without chunks (I have to puree or blend all of my food right now) and if you haven't looked at a menu lately, there are not a lot of options. No candy either. So as of now, it looks like we will be celebrating the day of love at the movies, sans concessions. Not sure what movie yet. Guess we'll figure it out.
     Even though making plans is a little more difficult now that basing an event around food is out of the question, I will still have fun and be healthier for it!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

T minus 31 hours and counting...

So it is 11:25 pm CST Sunday as I begin writing this post. Tomorrow at this time I will not be allowed to eat or drink anything more. I will have packed a bag with a few necessities to take to the hospital with me, you know, my pillow, my phone charger, my Kindle, and my toiletries. Before bed I will take a shower and use special soap to reduce the amount of bacteria on my skin.

Tuesday morning I will be getting up at 3:00 am to take another shower and use more of the soap, then putting on clothes that I will have laundered the day before. My husband will drive me to The Ohio State University Hospital so I can check in by 5:00 am for my 7:00 am surgery.

I have been sticking to my diet. Getting used to four protein drinks a day with my meal, fruit, veggies, and lots of water has not been as difficult as I first thought it would. The diet started on the 9th so I have been doing it for 16 days so far, one more day to go. I discovered my scale was not accurate a few days in so I can not be sure, but from what I know I have lost at least 19 pounds. Yay me.

I even decided to start taking pictures of my progress. Every Friday I take photos of myself from the front, back and each side in the same outfit (purple Under Armor sports bra and gray Under Armor tight shorts) as much as I can in the same spot so I can track the changes in my body accurately. Maybe if I get brave enough one day I will make a collage and post them... Who knows... That alone is enough to scare the shit out of me, letting others see me, see my body go through all of these changes, yikes...

I will be off work for a little while, two to six weeks. During that time I will not only be recovering and transforming but learning to nourish and exercise my new body. It will be weird I am sure. Then there is the fun part... The new clothes. Currently I own one pair of jeans. I have refused to buy another pair since I knew this was coming and I felt like it would be a waste of money. Can't wait to get a new pair!

Yes, I am scared. And excited. And nervous. And most importantly- ready.

I am ready.

Monday, January 5, 2015

New direction for the new year


Now that we got that out of the way... So there's this pesky little tradition where every December 31st we are supposed to come up with at least one New Year's resolution, something that we will resolve to do better or start doing to kick off the start of a new year. Its a fabulous idea. Stop smoking, pay off debt, be nicer, read 100+ books in a year, then there's the big one... lose weight.

I myself have set numerous New Year Resolutions (can we just call them NYRs already?) and have even managed to keep a few, the big ones for me? I got my first book published and quit smoking. I am pretty proud of myself for that one, going on three years and no temptations to start again! Sometimes I set NYRs, other years I don't. Realistically setting a NYR, especially if you do it just because it is that time of year, you will not be successful unless you are motivated. Staying pumped and on track is not easy either. Let's just use dieting for this example... Temptations are around every corner, commercials advertising a multitude of ways to sabotage your weight loss ***food, glorious food*** and time is always an enemy. Not enough time for the gym, grocery shopping, food prep, cooking (all of which mean you get to avoid fast food/restaurants), and god forbid you have kids, a spouse, a job, and other responsibilities. At least the big feasting holidays are over...
So get to the point of your blathering you say? We already know this you say?

Okay okay!!

I didn't set a NYR this year. Why? It felt like cheating. Huh? Let me explain.

Last June, June 26th to be precise, my mom, my husband, and I attended an information session at the Ohio State University Medical Center. There I met Dr. Sabrena Noria and a myriad of others on her staff and began the official process of having bariatric surgery done. I have been considering this for many years, but until now have not been ready to do it. A few days later I submitted the application to enroll in their program after eliminating two others, then mid August I (successfully I might add) completed my mandatory psych evaluation and was then moved on to the next step, pre-screening for a bunch of health tests and general check up, an appointment with my dietitian, and meeting to cover my progress and what was yet to come in early September.

So far I have had (and passed) a ton of blood work, an EGD (esophagogastroduodenoscopy, phew!), an EKG (electrogardiogram), an overnight oximetry test, and completed four education classes. Then at the end of November I received a phone call from my case manager at OSU saying that she was submitting my case for final approval to my insurance company. I was in the home stretch... Then on December 10th at 8:30 am the call I'd been waiting for for months came... I was approved. My next few appointments were scheduled right then.

January 8th I meet with the dietitian and Dr. Noria. I will be put on "The Liver Shrink Diet" (sounds lovely doesn't it?) for three weeks and get my final instructions prior to surgery.

January 13th I meet with the anesthesiologist.

January 27th Surgery.

I have decided to have the gastric sleeve that will mean my stomach will be reduced to the size of a small banana, the rest cut away and removed. Seeing as today is the 5th, I have only a few days left to eat normal food before my life will change for the rest of my life. I am not pigging out (I have been sick with a sinus and ear infection for days now) and will eventually be able to eat some of my favorite foods on occasion, only very small portions of them. No more soda. No more junk. I am already on a restricted diet due to Celiacs and IBS so I am fine with all of this if it means I get to be healthier.

So here is to my new me in 2015 without a NYR...